Thinking out loud

Dave and I have now been in Cameroon for a month! We are in our third week at our placements – so much has happened.
We had both expected that by now, we would be looking at each other saying “What have we done!?! But that is not the case at all; neither of us can imagine throwing in the towel. We are adapting slowly and there are many positives about being here.
Still, sometimes before I go to sleep or when I wake in the morning, I wonder. What is this new world I have thrown myself in? How am I adapting? Can I actually do anything which will make a difference – the problems are so big?
You see, after a month I feel in a bit of a daze. I would call it shell shock but that would be overstating it. I easily go day to day doing my little bit (and trust me it is little). But somehow it seems all so unreal! And I do miss my friends and family.
I have established a daily routine. After Dave and Linda (the volunteer staying with us for a few weeks) leave for their placement each morning, I start getting ready. I am due at the office later and have a shorter commute. I try and have some breakfast, depending what is in the house, get dressed, add a bit of make up, turn out the porch light and set off. Some days, I stop by the pub to pick up a bottle of water or a bun to eat. I may pick up some bananas at the stall up the street. Then I walk up the hill to hail my taxi to the office. By 3 or so, I am ready to return home, retracing my steps. It is becoming rote already – but not quite normal.
What is normal about dirt and pot holed mud tracts for streets, small Toyota taxis with 6 people in them (where is my London black cab?), car and bike drivers who ignore road rules, dust so thick in the air that you cough all day, temperatures so hot you drip with sweat, shoeless children with torn clothes, and so, so many babies and children?
This is my new home. I enjoy the people; they are kind, welcoming and hard working. I enjoy the cheery “Good morning” of my neighbours. I enjoy the fresh pineapple, bananas, avocadoes, papaya and mangos. I enjoy the fresh tomatoes, onions, peppers and potatoes I can buy from the stall across the street. I enjoy the market, the crafts, the busy-ness of life here. I enjoy meeting up with volunteers from all over the world to exchange stories and ideas. And I have Dave.
After work today, Dave and I will sit at the pub, enjoy a cold one and share the ups and downs of our day. And who knows, the dust and the daze may start to lift.