The news finally came

Monday morning, I go into the office as usual. I am expecting Berry to come in but she does not appear. The cleaning lady, Grace, does a beautiful job and I quietly appreciate the women that I have met at Hope.

My placement being on hold, there is really no work to do. So I write and print a letter to my favourite aunt (which I better remember to mail) and do e-mail. I play solitaire while the very slow download of e-mails occurs. A couple of people come in and I explain that the people they were hoping to see were away until Thursday. Then I resolve that I will complete the Activity Log that VSO has required us to do… a task I had been putting off since my return from Canada.

Then the e-mail comes in. In big bold letters “Termination of Collaboration.” You all know I was expecting this to happen. HOPE really had no choice but to let me go – me or the funding, not much choice. But I was devastated. This was a pretty rude way to find out. I understand that my boss is away with the Fundamentalist couple but I had hoped a one-to-one conversation or at least a phone call. As a few choice words for the Fundamentalist couple spring to mind, the tears start rolling. I call Dave (always there when I need him) and tell him, asking him to come over. I need to pack up my things and leave.

As I wait for Dave, I write a note to Berry and one to Stephanie: “Sorry I did not get a chance to say goodbye in person, …” I empty my desk drawers – what comes, what stays. I put some things that need attention on Berry’s desk, then Stephanie’s desk, wiping my eyes as I go.

Just before Dave arrives, a lady appears at the door to visit. What a strange feeling. I put on my mask, greet her with a smile and explain that everyone is away at a mini-conference. Would she mind returning Thursday?

With Dave’s help, I put things away, collect others, and pack up my laptop. “What will you do with the keys? Dave asks. Nastily, I reply “That is their problem; they can come and get them!” In my heart, I know this is not HOPE’s fault – they were between a rock and a hard place, but I still feel disappointment and some anger.

Once home, all stuff is dumped and Dave says “Can I make you a cup of tea?” “No.” “Can I make you a hot chocolate? “No” “Is there anything I can do?” “Yes! Buy me a beer!” So off we go to the pub next door. (There always seems to be a pub next door where we are living!)

We sit at the pub for an over an hour, talking, discussing, chatting with the bar tender, and for me, shedding a few tears. Yet when we leave I felt refreshed and ready to move on. I know this really has nothing to do with me and the options open to me are not bad – another placement of my choosing or go home. I can handle either.