Things change so quickly!

Those of you who read my last blog will know what a struggle it was for me to leave Canada and return to Cameroon.  Things change so quickly!

I still want to be in Canada. However, after a few days back at the office and working with the wonderful people at Hope for the Widows and Orphans Ministry as well as meeting up with other VSO volunteers, I was settling back in and feeling more accepting of the two year commitment that we made.   I know that   I am able to carry out my placement and do my best to help this organization.  (BTW, thanks to the wonderful and supportive comments I received on my last blog – truly appreciated).

Then two things happened.  The first was a call from our son Eric, informing us that Dave’s mom has taken a turn for the worse – she is not expected to live many more days.  Needless to say, emotions are running high.  Should we have stayed in Canada, despite the fact there was little we could do?  Should we return – no as we probably would not get there in time.  We are questioning and doubting everything.  Of course, we were also mourning, crying, remembering, talking… all the things one does when one loses, or expects to lose a loved one.  Mom is in our thoughts all the time now, wondering how she is doing, speaking to family about her condition etc.    We have come to accept this loss, knowing for some time that it was coming.  We just wish we could support Eric our son and Barb, Dave’s sister more effectively at this trying time.   

Then another thing happened, putting into question our time in Cameroon.  The majority funding for my organization is through an American couple who heard of HOPE way back and created their own Ministry (also called Hope), in the US, to support the Cameroonian HOPE.  As it turns out, they are very unhappy about VSO’s  involvement with the organization.  They say they are afraid decisions will be made that they won’t approve of.  I met with them today and they grilled me on my qualifications and on VSO’s motivations.  The bottom line is that they don’t want anyone interfering with influencing in anyway that might take control away from them.  They do not want VSO involved.  It puts my boss in a very delicate situation as they unashamedly threatened to withdraw all funding if HOPE did not comply with their wishes.   So, my placement is in jeopardy. 

Oddly enough I am OK with that.  I don’t know how my boss will handle this; I surely would not want to be in her position.  If she decides that is in the best interests of the organization for me to disappear, then I will.   Sadly, this will severely restrict HOPE’s flexibility to grow and develop and to collaborate with other agencies.

But who knows what tomorrow will bring? Things change so quickly.